Having joined a family full of nephews (a few) and nieces (lots) I’ve been many a time asked if I could teach them English… my first instinct is to tell them – “I learned it by myself go and do likewise”, but my soft heart tends to say yes under some conditions:
They’ll do the assigned homework
They won’t act as royal pains
The latest niece to join the gang in showing interest to learn English is Maria Eduarda who at 14 had always resisted to the idea of learning English quoting that same old idea of “I not even know portuguese well why should I learn English” or “We speak Portuguese in Brazil” – etc etc, so…
So last week, Eduarda finally gave in, she asked my wife if she could teach her English and basic computer skills. Quickly I told my wife – try to teach her computer skills using English. That’s what I’ve always encouraged. Using language as a tool to reach different goals not a goal in itself.
Yeah, yeah, I know, Virginia. I live in the Southern Hemisphere therefore I should have had winter vacations this July, but considering my wife and I traveled to the US – let’s agree to keep it as a summer vacation.
I’ve succeeded in convincing my sweetheart that I need to recycle my English and inhale some American oxygen every year ( don’t forget I’m an Americanoid) , so we always make an effort and try to travel to America at least once a year.
This time we traveled to Orlando, Florida and Dallas, Texas. In Orlando we met up with our “stepfamily” – Liz and Ray, their 15-year-
old son, Jared, and the matriarch, Helen. We spent two intense days and although I had some idea about visiting a theme park – namely Universal Studios – we actually ended up visiting only The Holy Land Experience, which was quite surprising.
At the entrance you just see a bunch of fake rocks and buildings but once inside the staff and the people attending generate a pleasant and welcoming atmosphere. There are no “rides”, just some exhibition areas where you can see, for example, a life-size replica of the tabernacle in the desert, the Via Dolorosa (way cleaner and brighter than the real thing, I dare say), the Lord’s supper where you partake of the bread and the wine with Jesus himself (well, OK, every Jesus is an ordained minister – but it’s still a moving experience). You can visit a sort of wax museum where you can see scenes of Jesus’ life: birth, ministry, Garden of Gethsemane, Crucifixion, Resurrection and Ascension).
The highest point was the series of dramatizations taking place at the auditorium of he Church of the Nations. Stories about the four women who had a life-changing encounter with Jesus; the crucifixion; a modern-day parable about Angels, the moments of praise and worship all designed to successfully move you to tears. And I must say they powerfully succeeded with us. The day ends with a musical show of the fountains. I had
thought the experience would take us 2-3 hours, but we spent the whole day there and were the last guests to leave.
We flew to Dallas and despite the toasty, roasty temperatures we had a wonderful 4th of July weekend there. With a patriotic concert of Larnelle Harris, barbecue at sister-in-law’s home and a fantastic fireworks display at the Dallas Athletic Club. We returned to Brazil on the 5th of July and I was very saddened by the news of the sniper killing and wounding police officers in Dallas.
Thinking allowed after the latest crises in America
In Orlando we had the opportunity to visit the memorial for the victims of the Pulse nightclub and every time the subject came up people would be extremely touched and saddened by that ignominious attack. But one thing that called my attention was that some people (let’s assume they were unaware of that) made some comments that bordered on racism such as:
“I don’t know why we bought a home in Apopka. There are too many black people in the area. At least, we bought it on the white side.” (Come again, ma?)
In Dallas, we stayed at the Comfort Suites in the northern part of the city because people had warned us the south side was too violent and dangerous (should I have heard “too many black people”?), but our hotel would lock its doors after 9 pm, because it’s not a very safe area. Hmmm… .
We went to the Larnelle Harris concert at the First Baptist church in Lewisville – and considering that Larnelle is a wonderful African-American gospel singer – his was the only dark face we could see in the whole church – sadly still confirming the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.’s statement who once said “it is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o’clock on Sunday morning.” And apparently little has changed.
It still boggles my mind that the organization of my dear Seventh-Day Adventist Church – still maintains separate conferences for whites and African-Americans.
On a brighter note, we had the privilege to meet our nephew’s husband for the first time. And YES, he is gay and black. Does it mean that he will have to die twice?
From what I understand he didn’t choose to be gay or black but I can choose to accept them and love them despite the differences. I cannot control the hatred and prejudice that permeate our world but I can choose how to deal with people’s differences.
On a warm summer night, December 09, 1965, a baby boy was born. Hopefully bringing joy to his parents, family, friends, and students.
Needless to say, many things have happened over the past half century. Things that as a little boy in Brazil I would not even have dared to dream. But God has been good all the time.
Now – 50 years old – 32 of which, working as a language teacher. Yes, I’ve been a program director, teacher trainer, etc, but never forsook the calling to be a teacher with all the simplicity and complexity that career choice entails.
Time to stop and ponder what I would have done differently and I can confidently say, nothing, both professionally and personally. I consider myself extremely happy or blessed (yes, now I don’t have to be afraid to say that word) and grateful for the many blessings the good Lord has poured down on me.
Retire? As long as I have breath and mental and physical conditions I intend to continue sharing a little of the experience of learning a language with whomever is willing to work with me.
What lies ahead? Only the good Lord knows but he’s promised each one of us that “his plans are to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
I don’t see myself getting a red convertible in a middle age crisis. Streaking across a football field? Well…, maybe, but whatever comes my way, may the Lord help me to appreciate each day as a unique gift.
As John Lennon wisely said:
“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”
Yesterday I came across Reginald Chan’s blog called 10 Tips to Survive Life with a Road Warrior (see the link here https://t.co/mzwn95okAx) and it exactly reflected my experience these days.
I am not married to a Road Warrior
but to a “Warrioress” (oh the sexism of a language) or a Warrior Princess or Queen.
Traditionally, men were the ones who had jobs or at least the most demanding and exciting jobs – traveling and meeting people from other parts of the world, speaking other languages, making more money, etc.
In the 21st century, that stereotype, although still strongly represented, has been busted by intelligent, beautiful and powerful women. One of them being my Sweetheart.
For many years I had the privilege to accompany her when she had to travel on business – Germany, France, Portugal, Mexico, Panama, Spain, and the list goes on and on …) but over the last two years I’ve grown tired of traveling – all the airport hassle, the seemingly endless hours on a plane, have made all that travel glamour (if it ever existed) lose its luster at least for me. Let’s not forget the fact that we added Luther, our lovely black cat, to our family in 2014, and somebody has got to mind the cat. And I’ll do it with pleasure.
But work continues to take my sweetheart away – one week to Mexico, the other to the Bahamas, the other to Chile, Argentina… and now the farthest so far: Singapore.
And I told my wife, “well, you gotta go, right? – so go at full blast!”
Can a relationship not only survive but thrive long-distance? My answer from the rooftops is: YES!!!
Here are my tips to survive life with a Road Warrior Queen (or King)
Pray with her and on her behalf – we first met at an English bible class – so God has always been huge in our lives – first and last – the old cliché “a couple who prays together stays together” has been proven true.
Show interest in her work/destination – go online read about the places she’ll be visiting, talk to her about what will be happening.
Listen – you don’t have to come up with quotable quotes or great pieces of advice – listen to what she has to say.
Life goes on – she is on the other side of the world but this side of the world is still turning – keep your life going, don’t isolate yourself from the world. You are one entity/ one team/ one partnership but 2 individuals.
Make use of Technology – Thanks to technology you still can talk or even see each other – use WhatsApp or FaceTime, Skype, etc – carefully set aside some time to do it. Jet lag will take its toll but a few minutes together will compensate for that.Traveling takes its toll – they need our support and encouragement
There! five points like the five fingers of one hand. Hope these ideas can help you, they have most definitely helped me.
The old cliche never seems to lose its power – Blood is thicker than coffee, or water, or wine, or whatever suits your liking, but the meaning is quickly understood. Family/blood ties trump it all.
This was last brought to my attention by my 9-year old nephew (on my wife’s side) when talking about a “family-only issue” he proclaimed: “Michael (his aunt’s fiancé) is not invited because he’s not part of the family”. Back in January I was the target of this “not-one of us” approach and it still stings.
It’s amazing how this “cosa nostra” feeling permeates the psyche of many people. One of my students planned a trip with her siblings to Italy and loved every single moment and experience with them (all in their 40s and 50s). All spouses were politely excluded because their additions to the family represented only appendices that may come and go. Family stays forever.
Maybe because my family was not very united and a little bit atomically disperse, I never shared this feeling of “only family cardholders allowed”. I’ve always felt ready to embrace people from other families, and even wished, heaven forbid, to belong to some other families when growing up. Who hasn’t?
This extends to some nationalistic feelings. Once you’ve been made a citizen of a country with all the same rights as any person born in that country before the law, you may still find yourself stigmatized by someone who claims that only true red, white and blue American-born people are real Americans. This would extend to any number of countries or flag colors.
But it brings me to the Language learning issue of the day: native speakers of English (or any other language for that matter) like to bask in the fact that they were blessed with a mother tongue that no foreigner will ever be able to perfectly replicate.
Whether that feeling is real, or just perceived as real, is not the heart of the matter. Foreigners who need to learn that new language for a thousand different reasons and who apply themselves, will, to a certain degree, accomplish their goal. If they will speak it with or without an accent or the most accurate triple phrasal verb is immaterial if they succeed in conveying the message and being heard, understood and respected.
We live in times when it’s almost a status symbol to say we don’t have time. We’re constantly in a rush. Sometimes it feels we’re running like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland: “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late for a very important date”!
This week, a student of mine, Rodrigo, was saying that to his defense he hadn’t had time to do his homework. He has 2 young daughters and a wife to care for at home. And his work is very demanding.
It sounded as if I gave him homework as a form of punishment. Actually, I couldn’t care less about it. Do it. Don’t do it. I won’t be any wiser because of that.
The only reasons I give students homework is to give them direction to review what was seen in class, to practice reading and writing and to expand vocabulary.
I asked Rodrigo: “Ok, let’s have a math class (incorporating other subjects to English): how many hours do we have in a week?”
After fumbling a little – 24 hours in a day – 7 days in a week … and spilling some zeros on the floor, we settled at 168 hours a week. He has 1 hour of English class per week.
“Ok,” he said. “But I have to sleep”. “Right”, I said. “So let’s be very optimistic and say you sleep 8 hours a night – in a week? 56 hours – that still leaves you with 112 hours to expose yourself to English”.
In a year? 8760 hours – if he never misses a class he’ll have had 52 hours worth of English classes. Will that be enough for any student to gain fluency?
You know the answer. So dear students, if you want to learn you will have to devise your own ways to better use your time – be creative, think out of the box.
Rodrigo likes football/soccer – great hobby – listen to podcasts about it. Read a news article online every day about the British League, translate one paragraph from the sports section in his local newspaper into English, etc.
The secret is not setting aside some crumbs of minutes to “STUDY ENGLISH” but to incorporate English in your everyday life.
Traditionally my wife and I spend New Year’s Day at home, sleep late and have lunch with a couple of friends – Jairo and Anete – who bring all the lunch – which consists mainly of sliced heart of palm baked in plenty of garlic, onions and swimming in olive oil. Awesome.
This year, however, all tradition has gone out of the window. My mother-in-law travelled to the northwestern part of São Paulo state to spend a few days with her youngest son. She had to be at the airport at 7 am… we couldn’t find a taxi to pick her up, so we had to wake up early and surprise her – here’s her face – we hadn’t told her it would be us who’d be driving her to the airport or she’d have said: “Oh then I’ll go by bus, I’ll crawl to the aiport. Don’t you worry about me.”
Anete on Sunday, when leaving a restaurant, stepped into a hole on the sidewalk and broke her foot – so Jairo and Anete cancelled our traditional lunch. I thought, well… if Mohammed can’t come to the mountain so, let’s get this mountain moving. My Sweetheart prepared an awesome HEART OF PALM pie and brown rice. And we drove to their home and surprised them. It was a joy. Creating an event out of a non-event.
A while ago Anete had mentioned she’d like to read “Pride and Prejudice” in English in order to develop her language skills. Guess what I gave her as a “belated” Christmas present. And now she’ll have time to read.
Last night during the New Year’s Service at church, the pastor said something that stayed with me. He said: “Forecasters, fortunetellers, and experts have been called to say that 2015 will be a difficult year for us: economically, maybe you will lose your job. What will happen to your health? Plans? All odds point to difficulties ahead. But these are all opportunities for you to do good to someone in 2015”.
So dear readers, that’s what I wish to y’all: A year full of good deeds thus making life a better experience.